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Many legends surround the pilgrim, mystic and faith-healer Grigori Rasputin, one-time advisor to the Romanov family and, as Boney M famously put it, 'Russia's greatest love machine'. However of all the famous fables, few are quite as long-winded or amusing as the stories directly concerned with the Mad Monk's gigantic genitalia. Since the Siberian's assassination in 1916 many people have claimed to own the penis of the dead man, with one prominent Russian doctor currently displaying what he upholds is the real Rasputin rooter in his museum in St. Petersburg.
Hang on a minute! How can anyone claim to have grabbed hold of such a schlong when surely the Russian mystic and royal advisor was buried with his tackle intact? Well not so according to some, who would have us believe that a maid came into possession of the prize privates after Rasputin's death. Some say that Rasputin was castrated by his assasins and that a maid found the dismembered... Errr... member when cleaning up the next day. Others claim that the canny wench, one of the hairy man's many bedtime conspirators, severed the sausage as a souvenir after the autopsy. 
Whatever the (un)truth of the matter, the (alleged) fact is that Rasputin's ramrod was at large in the world. And much like in its making hay-day, the beast was wont to wander. In fact it next turned up in 1920s Paris, where a group of Russian ex-patriates worshipped the wonder weiner, certain that it would bring them fertility.
However, on finding out about this crazy cult, Marie Rasputin (the Mad Monk's daughter) expressed her extreme disapproval of such goings-on and demanded the return of daddy's dong. However, just when it seemed that the saintly shaft had finally shrunk from the annals, it popped up again in 1994 for a final hurrah.
It happened that Michael Augustine of California aquired the jolly John Thomas by accident when he purchased the effects of one Dr. Ripple in 1977. Dr. Ripple had collaborated with Marie Rasputin on a hagiography of her father, and so had inherited the whopper willy on Marie's demise. Or had she? Well after Michael Augustine sold the item in question to Bonham's auction house, tests were done and the would-be winkle turned out to be not a penis at all - but a dessicated sea-cucumber.
And that was the (bell) end of that? No, siree. The latest twist in the trouser snake saga involves eminent Russian doctor Igor Knyazkin, head physician of the Prostate Centre of Russia's Academy of Sciences. The good doctor proudly opened the nation's first Museum of Erotica in 2004 (in a sexual health clinic!) in order to display some of the 15,000 items he has amassed during his time as a sex objects collector. Amongst them - you guessed it - is none other than the alleged appendage of the Mad Monk himself.
An impressive 11 inches (nearly 30cm) long, and as thick as most men's wrists, the pickled pecker certainly measures up to the reports of Rasputin's raking rapier - which according to his daughter Marie (we're afraid to ask how she would know this!) was a whopping 13 inches long when pointing skywards.
So Dr. Knyazkin's exhibit looks the part - so to speak - but is it really the genuine johnson? Well, no tests have been conducted on the mummified monster, which raises one's suspicions, whilst the general consensus amongst zoologists is that the ostracised organ most likely once belonged to a horse or bovine animal...
Making the tool tale of Rasputin's penis, quite literally, a cock and bull story.
More sleaze Vicar?
Whilst we're firmly entrenched in the low life section of East and Central Europe, why not check out another of the region's dodgy attractions - the Prague Sex Machines Museum? Or else read up on the kinky origins of the word masochism. Better still we recommend a thorough exploration of Fucking in Austria. | | | |
 | | "I cant believe this is something that kids reasearching rasputin would see it is clearly in appropiate!!!!" | LU
China
Apr.12.2008
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "yes we have so many different cock .i agree w/ this" | einjhel queen
Philippines
Mar.11.2008
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "how many different words can you come up with in place of "penis." seriously." | chris
United States
Mar.05.2008
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "i really dont believe stories like thatbut if there is proof then what d heck" | ONI
United States
Feb.21.2008
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "Hello!
Pleeease!
A penis like this is not 13".
Think!People THINK!
Maybe when he have an erection,but its maybe correct,if he get that." | jagvinidom
Sweden
Feb.11.2008
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "This is hundred percent FAKE ARTIFICIAL.
" | sam
United States
Jan.20.2008
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "I want 2 get one fo rmy girlfriend x" | Chris
United Kingdom
Dec.10.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "i wish i had a vibrator that big!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" | sarah
Australia
Oct.31.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "good night 13 inches, no wonder he was able to get the queen of russia to turn against the king" |
United States
Oct.04.2007
rates this page 4/5
|
| | "Ohhhh myyyy, they say 13 is an unlucky number... I dont think sooooo..... THAT IN MY BED FOR MY BIRTHDAY PLEASE" | Heoloi
United Kingdom
Oct.02.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "I'm so jealous of him. Bloody 13 inches, even I'd like to suck on that. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm " | Guy Walsh
United Kingdom
Oct.02.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Midori likes Rasputin's penis!!!!" | Midori
United Kingdom
Oct.02.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Wow!!!!!, its nice if i can taste 13 inch cock for each night....gets me horny everyday...mmmmhhhhhh" | NANA
Indonesia
Sep.24.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "It's 1/3 of mine :O" | Marco
Brazil
Sep.22.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "LOL!" | vigi
United States
Sep.21.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "can you imagine what it would of felt like to have that thing taken up the behind." | stacy
United States
Sep.21.2007
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "man some of you are sick i have vigania u must be a whore 13inches is humungos anyways rasputin was a gd man " | prussian kiser
Germany
Aug.30.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Who cares about Rasputin's dong?
I have a question for Fat Frank: Does it get you hot when girls giggle at your teeny weenie? " |
United States
Aug.22.2007
rates this page 3/5
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| | "Mine is only 1 cm." | Fat Frank Mckenzie
United States
Jul.31.2007
rates this page 1/5 |
| | "Look at the lady pressing her face on the glass with an excited look on her face........ good for rasputin.... change the world with a cock." | Jusputin
United States
Jul.30.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Now _that's_ enough to give anyone the willies." | Andrew
United Kingdom
Jul.26.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Horrible,like a tree" | raoof
United States
Jul.23.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "WOOHOO BIGGEST PENIS EVER!
SEX-EEEE" | POO FACE
Canada
Jun.26.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "I only have 12 inches :(" | Grig-Unit
Romania
Jun.22.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "nice" | Siva
India
Jun.21.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | ":O you take that back, b*d" | Katty-wa
United States
May.15.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "So could I, patricio. So could I. " | katty-wa
United States
May.15.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "I'd mistaken it's horse's." | Chaka
Philippines
May.10.2007
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "Cal Poly SLO CA, Love it alot. " | John Leffler
United States
May.09.2007
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "Is it big big big?
I'm scared of it..
Ohh, scary!" | Yunie
United Arab Emirates
May.06.2007
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "thats discusting" | dave
United States
Apr.23.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "UHH GREG CAN I HAVE UR ADDRESS :)" | me
United States
Apr.13.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "it dont look that big in the jar it looks about nine inches at most" | I have a VAGINA
United States
Apr.12.2007
rates this page 2/5 |
| | "that is so ......!" |
United States
Apr.12.2007
rates this page 3/5
|
| | "it doesnt look that big" | Mike
United States
Apr.10.2007
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "wow that is big. r there any other pictures of it " | haley
United States
Apr.07.2007
rates this page 4/5 |
| | "Wow. very good Sarah. 13 inches IS one inch longer than a ruler. " | i have boobs
United States
Apr.02.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "thats freakin nasty! 13 inches?!?!? thats like... an inch longer than a ruler!!! Geez!" | Sarah
United States
Apr.01.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "almost as big as mine" | GREG
United States
Mar.21.2007
rates this page 3/5 |
| | "Looks like most women got their fill. No wonder that the man could collect playmates. Interesting history lesson. " | aoife
United States
Mar.06.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "For not so long ago i started to read about Rasputin and i realised that he had been know in history because he and his enormous penis was doind half of the russian royal family now thats all a lie. I feel sad:( Finnaly a great rolemodel to look up too " | Marcus
Sweden
Feb.02.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
| | "Ra Ra Rasputin, Russia's greatest love machine! I thought you said it was only 13 inches??? A mere thimble! " | Big D
United Kingdom
Jan.23.2007
rates this page 5/5 |
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